whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
