I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
