o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
