I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
