sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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