Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
All I want is dick and wine.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
