Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
