She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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