if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
