I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
