Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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