Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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