yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
