areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
