hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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