Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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