I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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