Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
