I cut my penus on the lid.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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