I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
