Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
