They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
