he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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