I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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