someone threw a dead crab at me
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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