Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This is my gift to your gina
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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