i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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