I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
