so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Is it because I queefed?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
