my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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