I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
