the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
