I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
