I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
