real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
