Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
