Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
