I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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