Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
PANTIES FOUND
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