He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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