I think scott just propositioned me for sex
one two three fourrrrnication!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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