Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
