so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
