I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
