Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
