she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Drake has all the answers
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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