Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
