well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
