Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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