apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
